As you know, I am always talking about your ability to Powerfully Create because you are a Divine Creator.

You have the capacity to tune into the Higher Mind and Create the life of your dreams.

It involves a few things... like, knowing yourself as a Channel and
recognizing your Divinity and accepting your gifts.

Well, I have found the perfect evidence to state my case for your being the Divine Channel Creator or Higher Self that I believe you to be...

Check out this Powerful video from this years TED conference:

Just click on the link below:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA

Remembering,

Christel

Hi All you Beautiful Loves,

It is time for the Empowering Journeys 90 day challenge!

Each year we take on 3 areas of Life, set major challenges and accomplish these within 90 days.

What would your challenges be?

If you set an intention right now for where you want to be in 90 days where would that lead you?

Start with me today!

Pick a partner and pair up for this amazing life transforming opportunity.

Are you in?

Keep checking in with me for an update of my own personal achievements and let me in on yours.

Cheers to a New Life, a New You and a New World!!

Love and Light,

Christel

Question

I heard you on Christian Carter's "inside the
mind of a man". I was impressed and got your e
book and started reading your material. I haven't
got very far but like what I read.

Long story short, I like someone who has a
girlfriend. That doesn't sound too good I know,
but we met cuz of business and I had the boldness to ask if he was seeing someone, and when I heard from him that he
was, I wrote him a email to thank him for the business and
to say goodbye....

Well, he wanted to stay in touch....I am a widow, and
he had lost his ex-wife....so we are both raising kids on
our own. He wanted to share those things. We
both had attraction though....

Anyway....again long story short....it is hard to get
him out of my mind. I have a feeling it might have
something to do with my loss....and also about the rejection I felt as a child, having a father there but who never connected with me.....never even had a conversation with me that I remember.

How can I go back and get this hurt healed from my dad
and husband leaving (I think it is mostly due to my
dad)? I just want to be free in my life.....

Thank you!!!!!! I hope you have some words for
me....if I cannot listen to the call will you be sending it
by MP3 or could you email me any thoughts? Thank you
immensly for my heart doesn't want to lose connection
with this guy but I want to be free and do the right thing
too.

Thank you Christel!!!!

Response

Hi Love,

Thank you for your question, and yes, I will make the audio available to the group.

It is apparent that this guy came into your life as a gift. The gift of setting you on your path of deeper healing and clearing your Dad issues.

There are many ways of deeply cleaning up the past and that is what I do in private sessions, fast and final. But let's talk about where you are with this guy.

It is great to start accepting the gift and doing some work... also, we need to notice your tendencies toward just filling up your mind with maybes, what ifs and it could happen.

There are two ways you can go at this:

1) Let him go completely and do your healing work, trusting that if it is meant to be, it will be... just like it happened with Adam and me.

2) Stay connected with him with set limits and do your healing/clearing work simultaneously.

The first option means that you will totally honor his current relationship... no flirting... healthy boundaries as friends, maybe connecting every few months.

The second one is a little trickier and it may be a roller coaster ride of emotions... because there is a tendency to have expectations build up in the mind for more, more and more intimacy, connection and hints of possibilities.

What I can promise you is that if you choose to take the time now to totally heal your childhood issues, then you will begin attracting healthier situations with men. When there lies within toxic energy that wants to be cleared you can only attract the same, so take the initiative and do the work Now.

To make your decision:

1)Sit in silence and tune into your Higher Self.

2)Move all of the energy from your head to your heart... place your hand on your heaart.

3)Ask from the heart what the best decision is for the highest good of all.

4)Be committed to your decision and set boundaries right away.

5)Have a full proof plan in place for when you want to step out of bounds

I know that you will meake the right powerful choice and decide what is for the greatest evolution of all... moving toward healthy loving relating.

Many blessings on your higher path,

Christel

We often avoid giving feedback in relationship for a variety of reasons:
* Fear of hurting the others' feelings
* Fear of being rejected
* It seems easier not to go there, otherwise known as the avoidance pattern

The truth is that feedback is one of the best and often only ways to grow a relationship. No person can fully see himself or herself objectively. In relationship, if we are open, we can take our relationship from good to Extraordinary.

So without feedback as a standard practice within your relationship, you don't necessarily have the information you need to make positive changes and evolve.

Feedback is data. Pure and simple. It becomes 'more' than that when you attach a meaning to it - either as the giver or the receiver.

You might hear the others' feedback as meaning that:

* I'm not a good person or doing a good job
* They don't like or love me
* They are the ones with the 'problem'

Each excuse is resisting the valuable information, rather than taking it in and seeing if it Truly fits.

If you actively listen, you can then determine if it "hits home" as Truth. Once you've opened to the Truth of the feedback, then you can become aware of where corrections can be made and choose to improve growing your relationship to high levels of Love and Trust.

The first step in any improvement or change is AWARENESS.

The only way to truly become aware is to find out what you are doing that is not working or is not getting you the results you want. No body is Perfect, so become the witness to yourself and feel into the Truth of the feedback, viewing it as valuable. As such, feedback is a GIFT, when properly given and appropriately received.

Here are some tips to keep in mind.

HOW TO GIVE FEEDBACK:

· Check within to make sure that the feedback is valid and actually about the other person (ie. not just about you).
· Check with yourself to see if you are emotionally heated or angry. If you are not neutral about giving the feedback, do NOT do it at that time unless you can be responsible for those charged emotions. Otherwise, put the feedback down and back away from the other person!
· NEVER attack the person. ALWAYS keep it focused on the issue, behavior, result or impact. Be specific so the person has context for what you're referring to.
· Say it once, be clear and then be quiet. Let the person take it in and digest. If you keep going, they can get defensive and reactive and lose the value in what you're saying. Give them some space to process the information. Then ask them if they understand, what they understand, and if they want to share their perspective.


HOW TO RECEIVE FEEDBACK:

· Be open to the feedback and stay open minded. Realize what is being said is data than can help you grow so you can see aspects of yourself, including habits, that you might not be able see on your own.
· Realize the person cares enough to share this with you and release the need to be defensive.
· Take it in, see if it 'fits' for you, and then you can come back and either share your perspective, ask questions to clarify, or take time to process it.



Here's the key:
If it pushes a button (ie. you get defensive, hurt, angry, try to protect, defend or deny) 9 times out of 10 the feedback may be true! If you're uncomfortable, this is a chance to grow in a new way. Trust the process and surrender to it. This is truly an opportunity for you to build on your skills of relating and embrace your divine essence by staying open and receptive.

Over time, and with a foundation of trust, you'll be able to provide feedback in the moment and help eachother see what they can do to improve and grow.
You will also learn to receive feedback and see that it is vital to your overall development in being the Amazing partner that you are.

It may take some time, but it's certainly worth it. Do yourself a favor by staying open and positive. As a partner, spouse, friend, or parent, learning how to give and receive feedback is one of the greatest tools and gifts in life!

Cheers to an extraordinary life of love,

Christel

Special thanks to Amazing Women Int'l

Q & A with Christel

Ask all of your relationship questions: On the call or online christel@christelhughes.com

Monday Feb. 9th at 4pm PST

Conference Call
 (269) 320-8400
Participant Access Code: 1078882#

6 steps to get him to listen to you!

Have you ever experienced the pain of really wanting to connect deeply with your partner, only to find him shutting down mid sentence.

You desperately feel the need to be heard and understood, but he seems to be distracted by anything that can get him out of the conversation.

Even if the conversation is for the purpose of making your relationship stronger. he just seems to space out, shut down or close off.

Most men have the tendency to shut off their ears at the sight or sound of emotional women.

You've seen it. he turns away. goes blank faced. or excuses himself, never to be seen again. or at least for a time.


So what do you do if you have something important to share, but are feeling overwhelmed by emotion?


If a man turns off his hearing while your talking, he probably has had experiences in the past with women who emotionally blame, shame or criticize.

So how do you get him to listen to you if you are in one of those sensitive moods?

? Set a safe context for the conversation.

Men need to know what the talk is about, how long it will take and what is expected of them in order to give you their quality time and attention.

So start off the conversation something like this:

Hey sweetheart, I'd love to share something important with you later, it will only take about 15 minutes, and if I could just run it by you and get your feedback that would be great. how about 5 p.m. are you available to take a moment to listen?

You have taken the pressure off of him. All he needs to do is listen and give you feedback on something that you want to share with him.


? Take your heart aligned wants and desires into consideration (not your selfish desires)...

Be real with yourself! You know when you are being selfish compared to when you are taking others feelings into consideration.

Sometimes we think we want or need something, but it is based on an old pattern of victim or needy mentality.

So make sure that when you are requesting his undivided attention it is for a pure heart aligned purpose.

? Speak your truth from the heart voice (instead of your egoic power voice)...

When you are ready to speak your truth. make it a point to move your energy from your power center (stomach) to your heart center.

Here is a quick and effective technique:

Your power center is located in your stomach.

Coming from the power center is offensive and causes people to be leery of what you have to say. it feels controlling and manipulative.

When we are confronted emotionally, we shut our hearts down for protection. we don't want to get hurt and so we put up shields on the heart so nobody or nothing can penetrate.
If you are speaking to someone with a closed heart. this is abusive!

When you open your heart and allow truth to flow, it feels authentic, is more believable and opens the door as an invitation for others to listen from their heart.

? Speak congruently with your highest state desired (not your old patterns)...

When you speak congruently with what you want to create ie. a loving connection. everything seems to flow.

It is the same if you are going on a trip. you wouldn't pack shorts and sandals if you were going to Canada in the winter.

If what you want to create is Love, then you must be in a state of love when you are communicating. That is, exhibiting the energy, facial expressions and body language of Love while you are speaking. You must be congruent with Love.

Imagine wanting to create a state of Love, but coming from Anger.

How can someone trust what you are saying and want to really listen to you if you are incongruent with your point of view or mission of the conversation?


? Learn to balance your emotions, speaking to your emotions (not from your emotions)...

Here are examples of this type of communication:

Speaking to your emotions:

I am experiencing anger right now and It is making me very uncomfortable.

Vs.

Speaking from your emotions:

You made me angry. I can't believe you treated me like that!

? Always choose to act in alignment with the Highest state desired, being Love.

If you are not getting the results you'd like from your conversation. watch out for expectations.

Make sure your actions are consistently aligned with your highest state of being instead of the expected outcome.

One of the things that occurs in relating is that people start assuming things about the person's response instead of asking specific questions.

A specific question would be: It would mean a lot to me if you would share what you think about what I just said.

So in summary, set a safe context, make sure you drop your expectations, stay connected to your heart, express your truth from a pure place and speak to your emotions, not from your emotions.

Doing these action steps will have him willingly take time to listen deeply and respond with a sincere acknowledgement of your feelings. This way of relating will set up a healthy foundation for all your intimate expressions to create a long-lasting relationship.

May you create powerful, loving conversations from a pure heart and connect at a deep level of understanding.

Blessings on your Empowered Journey,

Christel Hughes, C.Ht.


Christel Hughes is an inspiring holistic life coach, specializing in self-development and transformation for individuals throughout the country. She is the author of Be Love to Find Love, 10 Laws of Love, Taking Back Your Power and Quantum Quickies for Healthy Living e-Books as well as Beautification From the Inside Out Downloadable program for women. Christel facilitates seminars on the power of the mind to manifest, conquering fears, and relationship strategies. She is the host of Women On Purpose, a popular online talk show featuring powerful women and their journeys to success.

To find out more valuable relationship tips, go to: http://www.belovetofindlove.com
To find out more information about the author, go to: http://www.christelhughes.com

It is such a pleasure interviewing these truly couragous women. I created the Women On Purpose, podcast series to inspire you through another woman's story of success.

Listen in and learn how most of these women counted on their inner strength and connection to the Divine to overcome challenges.

They share their secrets to success and so much more, so sign up to listen today.

In light and love,

Christel